Christians are Chicken of Gays


A Chicken sandwich.
A Chicken sandwich.

What the hell is happening to our world? Seriously? I wish I could answer this simple question which has an increasingly complex answer. If you want to know what I mean here is an example. Some years ago a man opens a chain of chicken sandwich restaurants. This man becomes a success. This man even becomes famous and rich. Now people care what he has to say about things. He decides to take money from his business and give it to organizations he supports. Such as organizations who are anti gay and anti gay marriage. This man claims very clearly to be a Christian. The organizations he gives money too are also Christian. When people find out that he gives money from his company to other companies he believes share his values people who disagree with him start to try and get people to boycott his business.

Lucky for the chicken sandwich man he gets the attention of another Christian success story who just happens to be in politics and this politician says that we as Christians need to go support this “brother in Christ” who is enduring the onslaught of honest public opinion from gays and gay supporters who disagree with him. So the politician says, “hey all you Christians we all need to go to this guys chicken sandwich place and show our support by eating chicken sandwiches.” So all the Christians line up around the block and the business sets new sales records. I would imagine some of the things the Christians standing in line were saying. “God has clearly shown this man and his business favor and so he must be right about the gays and how wrong they are” They might also say things like “God has blessed this man because he stands for what God stands for.” Or maybe even “By supporting this man we are doing what Jesus would do if he were here.” Does all that sound like the kind of thing Christians would say?

What if instead of all the Christians going to the chicken sandwich place and feeding themselves, maybe they could go and buy a meal for someone who doesn’t have one. God knows there are many Christians who could stand to lose a few pounds (just like me) Cause I got a feeling that is what Jesus would actually do. You know what, I am going to take it a step further than that. I think those Christians who lined up to show their support of the chicken sandwich guy should have skipped lunch that day and gone to volunteer at an HIV/AIDS center instead. They could spend an hour caring for the sick and the dying, the wounded and the broken, rather than having lunch with a group of Christian Homophobes. You know what. I’m sorry, I actually completely missed it. How could I have missed it so completely? Forget everything I just said about what Jesus would do. Here is what he would ACTUALLY do. He would be there… in line… with everyone else at the chicken sandwich joint. He would be surrounded by 5 or 6 homosexuals there… and HE would say “Lunch is on me!”

If you don’t believe me go look it up! Mark 2: 15+, Matt 9: 9+, Luke 5: 27+, Luke 15: 2+

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3 thoughts on “Christians are Chicken of Gays

      1. You mean the guy snoring away next to me, who is exhausted from the difficulty of sitting in the back seat while I drove us into, and through, NYC on our way to Secaucus, NJ?

        That guy? 😉 I will tell him what you said.

        Miss you all!

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