Help Unclog my Blog!

cabbage (Photo credit: uberculture) Could this be the vegetable of the century ?

I am at a loss. How can anyone blog everyday and still think they have more to say without knowing they are really just wasting peoples time with their rants, raves, opinions, troll like behavior, profiling, gossip, slander, make up tips, get rich quick schemes, and invitations to participate in an anonymous cheese eating challenge for closet vegans. Well friends, I am here to tell you I HATE BLOGS! God, I hate them SOOOO much I think I am starting to hate myself right this minute as I am writing these very words. In fact, I’m now just typing with one finger because my other hand is reaching for my throat in an attempt to choke the life out of me. “Stop it right hand. What the hell!?” (sdfghjk dfghiporgt b ivbper gv ef vb) Oh great! Now my right hand (trg bt v ntwrv ewrg) is pounding my left hand while I try (bjniwrgv  vo3trb bv[tr bgt) to type the rest of (vttgw  b tr) this blog. Just a minute… I’ll be right back. …  …  … … Okay, I’m back now with my right arm duct taped to my torso. HA! take that you self righteous right arm! As I was saying. Blogging sucks (well just most of it) and I think there are way too many people who have taken this free speech thing FAR too far.

They’ve got to be stopped. So I will dedicate the place on the world wide web that we all know and love as MickGee’s Madness to seek out and bring to light these offending bloggers and set things right. I WILL find them. I WILL troll them. I WILL highlight them and comment about them on my blog. Yeah (awkward pause) that’ll show em!

Just to give you an idea of the things I have read. Listen up and be amazed. There are people with blogs with the following titles. You tell me if any of these will make you instantly barf like I did.

1) Catwatch Day 65 Hairballs Ahoy!

2) My Colonoscopy (a Video Blog)

3) Girls, what to wear when there’s an itch down there.

4) Gee I just saw G I Joe.

5) What’s App Doc!?

6) How to beat your girl and get away with it – a six part series on woman torture.

7) How “other people” are still not better than whites

8) Obama don’t got no momma. How our president is really just a clone

9) Pull my finger – a list of the best fart gags and jokes of the 20th century.

10) The Steaming Pile – how to tell the health of any living creature from it’s poo.

These are but a few examples of the kinds of things people think is okay to post on the internet and have you waste your time reading. If you’re like me I don’t have time to waste reading total nonsense. Especially those blogs with so many words. Seriously people. Come on! Because of twitter I can barely read more than 140 characters at a time. So you are lucky if I can make it through your 500 word blog on why Cabbage is the vegetable of the century.

Stay tuned next time for more MickGee’s Madness!


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